Communication Expert: Don’t Fight Dirty, Fight Fair

NEW HAVEN, Conn. (WTNH) – Fighting is a natural part of every relationship, but how do you fight fair? What can you do to be better and more constructive at fighting? Communication expert Steve Rohr shares signs you might be fighting dirty.

Summer is the time for weddings, holidays, and family reunions. These can be both fun and stressful for couples. “The Communication Codebreaker” and author of “SCARED SPEECHLESS,” Steve Rohr shares seven signs you might be fighting dirty and how to clean up your act.

  • Avoidance: The silent treatment isn’t the best treatment. It diminishes the opportunity to find a solution, and no one is able to express themselves.
  • Steamrolling: “It’s when you berate someone into submission. It’s not a relationship, it’s a dictatorship,” said Steve.
  • Everything but the kitchen sink: During an argument, someone might bring up things totally off-subject and the fight spins out of control. The issue at hand is lost in the rubble and nothing gets resolved.
  • Gunny-sacking: “Small grievances, big grievances, you let it build and then it explodes,” said Steve. When someone does this, they potentially snap unexpectedly and their partner is blindsided.


To avoid going from a bad fight to a worse fight, Steve suggests to have a fight plan, meaning to pick a time that both people are prepared to work it out. If you believe you won’t be mad about something 24 hours from now, let it slide. Finally, remember what the fight is about. Be specific and stay on topic.

More Information:

Steve Rohr is a nationally recognized Communication Expert. He’s the Show Publicist for the Oscars – right here on ABC, a Communication Professor, and the author of the bestselling book: Scared Speechless: 9 Ways to Overcome Your Fears and Captivate Your Audience.

Learn more at

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