NEW HAVEN, Conn. (WTNH)– When you get married, you don’t often think it will end in divorce but there are some key factors that inevitably end many relationships. Money is a big one! We are stretching your dollar with the red flags you may be heading for trouble and what you can do to make it better. Love is an essential ingredient in a marriage but it unfortunately doesn’t pay the mortgage. Money is important and being honest about how you spend it.
“People say it’s not romantic, but it’s necessary,” said Patty Ann Tublin, a relationship and communication expert.
Dr. Patty Ann Tublin is a relationship and communication expert who says she sees it all the time. The financial dishonesty will start small and get worse over time.
“You’ll go to a store and buy some clothes and you’ll pay half of the price with cash and then you’ll charge the other half. Then again, you’re not being very transparent and honest about how much the item really costs,” she said.
She says the big problem is couples don’t define discretionary spending, and it leads to arguments down the road. It’s ideal to get on the same page before marriage, but it’s never too late for a relationship refresh.
“Most fixed costs, you know, your mortgage, your rent, your car payment, of course there’s no argument with that. But when it comes to the fun things in life, that’s when it gets complicated,” she added.
Decide how much you each can spend on the fun stuff. Another way to handle your differences – recognize how you associate money. Some associate money with love, others with power.
“Many times what couples will say to me, is I feel my spouse is too controlling, and controlling about money so that’s at least one area I can take charge of,” Tublin said.
Giving your spending and saving habits an honest look and communicating a plan is the best way to keep it moving in a healthy direction.